July 1, 2009

First Person: "I have no one to blame but myself"

Another installment in our series of First Person interviews on virginity. This one came by way of our comments section and is somewhat disturbing. If you're out there, drop us a line and let us know you're OK.

I'm a 38 yo male virgin. Awkwardness/shyness of my youth, so I have no one to blame but myself. That eventually lead to the lack of experience that brought me to where I am today. I went to college, have a great job, run, hit the gym twice a week, volunteer, etc. But after decades without a date, nothing holds joy anymore. I've given my last penny from my 'emotional bank account' long ago without making any deposits.

As I look back, the burden has grown to be too much. All my friends have families. They MUST talk about me. I'm too old to 'begin dating.' If I could think of a way to do myself in without my family knowing, I would do it tomorrow.

Tell us how you define virginity, how you lost/kept it, and anything else about the v-word. Email your answers to info*at*trixiefilms.com.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

aaggh I lost my comment! so will make this briefer. Don't feel bad about being a virgin at an older age, yes it's a pity you have missed out on the joys of sex so far, but think of it this way you still have a wonderful mystery to find out about, whilst the rest of us can be somewhat jaded and have forgotten what that's like. Yes some women may be surprised that you are a virgin but honestly I had a boyfriend who was a virgin and I was thrilled to be the first person he experienced sex with. Not that it would have mattered to me whether he had experience or not before but it was lovely knowing that I helped show him the ropes. And yes he wasn't too good at first but that was okay because even if physically it wasn't the best experience for me emotionally it was very fulfilling and I've never forgotten it. Also within a short time he was very good! In fact he is the only guy that has ever managed to give me an orgasm, up till I met him I thought there was something wrong with me, now I know it's just the guys who are doing the wrong thing. So I'm grateful I met him because I would think it was me with the problem. It just goes to show that years of experience don't always matter. Please believe in yourself some lady will be thrilled to show the ropes I know I would. You've got a wonderful experience to find out about don't do anything drastic. By the way I too was older than all my friends before I lost my virginity so I understand what you are going through, but my first boyfriend (though he could never make me come) was really gentle with me so it was great. You have so many good experiences go out and live life and hopefully some wonderful lady will come your way.

Anonymous said...

I'm reading between the lines a little bit here but you could have a mild form of schizoid personality disorder - read up on it via the web. Also, try this book - Bachelors: The Psychology of Men Who Haven't Married by Charles A. Waehler - this book had some useful stuff for me; maybe for you.

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