July 13, 2009

First Person: "If you are still single, it was probably what God intended for you."

Another installment in our series of First Person interviews on virginity. This story came through our comments and we thought we'd share it with you.

I'm a 53 year old male virgin. Many factors lead me to this state of celibacy. I'm Catholic, I never had a car or real dating money until my early 30s, my parents NEVER encouraged dating or relationships for me or my siblings (6 of us in all), no girls ever showed any interest in me, I was shy, and to some extent my family was dysfunctional and emotionally barren.

I've had 5 dates in my life, and all of them were a waste of time. They were emotionally traumatizing since I started so late, I had no clue as to how to behave. None of the people I ever wanted to see again.

Being celibate is not the WORST thing that can happen to you. In my case I developed a mild porno addiction and used masturbation since 15 to satisfy my lustful feelings. Today most of that is gone. I find most women simply don't like men today. Once you get past 30-35, if you are still single, it was probably what God intended for you.

Sadly some of us just won't get any offers for intimacy and we may also lack the skills to get anyone interested in us as well. Read the book Save the Males. I learned to accept what happened to me, and I'm glad I'm not stuck with kids I didn't want or a marriage I don't enjoy. Many married people have told me repeatedly I'm lucky to be single and not to change it now.

I'll never know until death it this was God wanted for me or not. It's happened, and all I can do is deal with it one day at a time. There is no fairness in the dating world, and lots of fine people just won't land a partner. Drop the self-pity and shame trip–it's done.

Tell us how you define virginity, how you lost/kept it, and anything else about the v-word. Email your answers to info*at*trixiefilms.com.

2 comments:

Pepper said...

"...most women simply don't like men today." Where did you get that idea? Many women like men, many women don't like men, but it's always been that way. I'm sorry that your personal experiences have led you to that erroneous and bitter conclusion.

Still, I wish you happiness. If you want a relationship, don't give up. But you might want to evaluate what it is about YOU, not about women in general, that fails to "land" you a partner. Don't make excuses, make positive lasting changes.

Kaydee said...

I know some hot ladies in their 60s who wouldn't mind a partner

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