Prom Garters: Blatant Objectification...in Your School Colors

Thanks to Jezebel for disturbing us with highlights from Seventeen's Prom issue. The dresses were bad enough (I know, we all wore them but must we get this awful flashback) but I almost lost my dinner when I heard about this: The Prom Garter!!

Jezebel turned to eHow for an explanation:

Much like a bride's garter, a prom garter is worn around the leg of a girl attending prom. The garter is traditionally worn on the right leg just above the knee. The girl may choose to give her garter to her date, removing it herself, as a souvenir of the night.

Some schools hold a "garter dance" in which a girl removes her garter, throws it to an awaiting group of guys and dances with the one who catches the garter...

...One prominent and traditional place for the guy to display the garter is on his car's rear-view mirror.

Also...speaking of sex, here's the thing, young people:

The "prom-night-as-virginity-losing time" is really overrated and also kind of boring. Do you really want to be like every stupid teen movie ever made? Also, it builds it up into an even bigger deal than usual and not to mention, puts a whole lot of pressure on you and your partner if you decide you don't want to do it after all.

Take it from me, all the cool girls go to the prom with their gay boyfriend dates - they're sharp dressers and great dancers. And it prepares you for all the great gay men you're going to unrequited-ly crush on all through your 20s. Downside? They tend to flirt a lot with the other girls' gay dates. (In fact, my date ended up having a long-term relationship with another girls date. Way to go, Mel)

So this prom if you want to go with a guy, pass on the garters, maybe cover your midriff, and seriously consider a boy who likes other boys as the perfect date - as long as his boyfriend doesn't ask him first.

Of course if you're a guy, the message is 'it's time to get laid' (according to this little ditty sung by Bill Macy and Kate Micucci):