Another installment in our series of First Person interviews on virginity. Our friend in Oklahoma left this in our comments and we thought we'd share it with you.
I'm a hetero guy in Oklahoma in the USA, turning 36 at the end of June 2009, a virgin. Honestly, I'm not really preoccupied with the perceived "stigma" or what other people think. I'm not sure why exactly.
I've always wanted to be in an intimate, lasting relationship and sharing a life with someone; as I put it once, being able to say "I love you" to a former stranger. That's been my real, primary dream or wish to be fulfilled, rather than sex itself.
My main anxiety is over my ineptitude of the act the first and few times afterward - in some ways I think it would be easier for me if she were also a virgin. It would be a bonding experience, both figuring out how to make it all work, that first time, because I'm not all that interested in sex in and of itself. I don't agree with the guys who want an experienced woman, in fact that is more intimidating to me.
Tell us how you define virginity, how you lost/kept it, and anything else about the v-word. Email your answers to info*at*trixiefilms.com.
July 6, 2009
First Person: "It would be easier for me if she were also a virgin"
2 comments:
my second sexual relationship was with a boyfriend who was a virgin, and I think I was more nervous that time than my first time probably because he was quite nervous so I was glad I wasn't a virgin too because I think that would have made me even more nervous but having said that I can understand what you mean about it being a bonding experience if you were both virgins but personally I'm glad my first sexual experience was with a guy who wasn't a virgin and when I did have a virgin boyfriend I wasn't a virgin, simply because it helps to have someone who is more experienced to guide whoever is the virgin, it's not about the person's sexual prowess just more about having a calmer person guiding the nervous person. As far as being inept the first time don't worry about that because if you care about someone the emotional bond is there when you first have sex with them it feels really special emotionally, the physical pleasure comes later, my virgin boyfriend came straight away so obviously it wasn't physically great for me but emotionally it was lovely he held me all night after that, and strangely enough within a short time he turned into a good lover the only man I've been with actually who has managed to give me an orgasm but then I haven't been with a lot of guys. I wouldn't have cared if he was a virgin or not but it did feel really special knowing I was his first, and yes he wasn't a young guy either he was in his late 20s. Whatever way it works out for you whether you are both virgins or not I'm sure if you do it with someone you care about it it will be special.
I just left a comment a moment ago about a boyfriend of mine who was a virgin too, but I meant to add that you sound like a lovely mature caring guy I'm sure whoever ends up with you will be a lucky lady. I'm single again, so I wish I could find a guy who sounds as nice as you do. I feel like catching a flight to Oklahoma now!
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