First Person: "I would like to trust a guy enough to let him know my fears, insecurities, and emotional trauma"

From time to time, we run a First Person culled from our comments section. One of our most popular threads is older virgins, and this post in particular has inspired a lot of discussion. Please send us an email if you'd like to tell your story.

I'm a 25-year-old virgin and while that isn't as old as some posters on this site it still carries a stigma. Most people my age have had numerous sexual relationships and started at around 15 or 16.

I had one relationship like seven years ago that included some under-the-shirt action and making out, but I never went further than that with the guy. I have had some weird non-date dates and crushes but nothing more since then. I keep my sexual/romantic inexperience secret because I just can't handle the jokes or weird looks that someone may give me.

I have some hesitancy about sex because of the pain, and this has a lot to do with a medical examination I had from the time of 2-13 years age in which a tube was placed in my uretha to determine if my kidneys were emptying out completely. I had kidney reflux problems, and this very painful and humiliating procedure has made me have issues with any vaginal pain. I can barely go to a gynecologist without immense fear.

I would like to trust a guy enough to let him know my fears, insecurities, and emotional trauma associated with vaginal pain, but I just think most wouldn't be understanding enough to be patient with me. The longer I wait the harder it all will be, and sometimes I wish I had been more reckless in my last relationship just to get it over with already.